Hellooooo. I just want to say, even though I know some of you may feel a tad disappointed, that I can’t promise to always post the Poofs, the BFs, the MKs…yeah, you know which ones I mean! And if you don’t know, then I guess you won’t miss them!
A few reasons – firstly, like the channelled messages last year or whenever it was, these messages are all getting pretttty boooooring. (No offense intended to any of them, mind you). I guess I got bored with the detail and the waiting for stuff to happen. Now, with various seeings that have been going on this way, it doesn’t matter whatever the outcome of 2012 might be.
Messages like that all offer the same old promise of heaven on earth to the reader. And in the offering of this, we miss that what we are seeking is already here – the fullness / emptiness of al that is. And it’s been many months now, I post them, and don’t even read the darn things! What kind of a blogger am I then? A fake one that’s what. LOL. Anyways, no worries, it’s all fake whether we like it or not. The whole thing’s fake, false, unreal, and not present – meaning, all of these stories, these dramas, the me, the ego, what the hell you end up looking at and paying attention to through your thoughts and emotions, including the you you think you are, it’s all fake!! More than fake, it’s just not real. So, posting all these messages has seemed like a phoney exercise for ages now.
And for anyone who relies on them, maybe you will go search elsewhere for them, or maybe you will have the courage to go ‘cold turkey’ and spend the time just being with what is, with what arises. In this way, you may get to be honest about the solace that is sought in such messages. And through such honesty there is a chance for the false me to fall away, and relaxation and simple peace to be there.
What a tremendous realization ‘I’ ‘had’ a few years ago, then somehow, I found myself on some new searches despite what had been seen at the time. Although the fundamental sense of not being that which ‘I’ had thought ‘I’ had been my whole life never left, it got covered up by various new me-stories. One was the me that was looking for ascension. Another was the me looking for this planet to transform incl. the financial system. Yet another was the me that liked to think she was enlightened. Yet another was a me that liked to label what happened in this seeing and certain happenings a few years ago as non-dual. Yet another….blah, blah, blah – you get the picture. I’d simply swapped the roles I had discarded with some new ‘spiritual’ roles. What a joke it seems now. A joke because all these ‘me’s’ are not there. They are simply imagined. A concoction. An ideal. An idea. A plan. A solace to cover fear. A layer on top of what is.
And recently I have laughed a lot. And am laughing now. It’s all so clear – when it becomes clear. Till then we justify ourselves. The joke of course is that we’re justifying a fake persona. What a blummin good joke it really is.
And for some, the joke may seem a tragedy at first. Or maybe a fantasy. Or a disgrace (that’s a good one). Or a downright injustice. Or a total crazy piece of sh*t!! But if you keep on questioning – who am I, am I real, who is the ‘me’, am I the body, what is mind, can I control thoughts, where is the ‘me’, and so on and so on, you will finally get to nothing. Yes, nothing! A nothing that isn’t nothing though the way we ‘understand’ nothing. For in truth, there can be no nothing that is really nothing. This was the mysterious happening that occurred one night I have mentioned before – I woke up and there was Vast Nothing just being everything, even in my body itself, and I knew that nothing was always something, and that this something was not comprehensible, but it was real, very real. I am not even sure if I can rightly say I am that Nothing anymore as they do in Advaita, it feels more accurate to say that that Nothing was more real than ‘me’ (of course, since the ‘me’ is a made-up idea). Anyway, it is not something to try to be accurate about and words get tangled up if one tries to make sense of The Mystery (I like to play with words, capitals etc). Suffice to say that the me is false, and this falseness is part of the Realness arising here, there and everywhere.
And our dear, beloved stories of the ‘me’ come out of that Nothingness and go back to That.
After all, ask yourself: Where is your me? Where are you?
Anyway, on this topic I could go on for hours, but needs must, and sleep calls.
So once again, I am bowing out of posting certain things. However this blog was always intended to be about deeper spiritual awakening, liberation etc. I just got caught up in stories at various stages. I hope you’ll get where ‘I’m’ coming from. So I’ll be posting in a freer way – I guess whatever gets posted will be what I shall post! A bientot!
Comments, as always, welcome.
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