Nothing Being Everything by Tony Parsons (Extract)
You were saying yesterday that the very seeking prevents the seeing – I am paraphrasing – it’s just such a brilliant game of appearances and deflection of attention in a way and it just helps to give an understanding of how it is all from the same font
It’s the same font, yes. One bit of it doesn’t want to be the same – or thinks it isn’t the same font.
But that’s just all the play – or what is called the Divine Play of …
It’s absolutely the divine play of being. And being isn’t the slightest bit interested in the idea of anybody seeing this or not, because there is nothing other than being … and non-realisation is also being.
So being suffers, being laughs, being searches, being finds, being doesn’t find. There isn’t anything other than that. And of course all of that is totally immaculately whole – there is only that so that is all there is. But in that wholeness there is something that thinks it isn’t wholeness, which is also being, being separate.
Being has no requirements. But what arises within being is an apparent need and requirement to find that there is no need and requirement.
And the mystery of that is just inscrutable – it’s just a mystery.
And the search for that is reflected in the world that we live in because everything we do is a search for that. All religion, all apparent personal endeavour, is simply a seeking for this unknowing.
A resolution of attention, of feeling separate?
It is a search for not being separate. The seeker cannot see this, because this is timeless being – this is the eternal isness which is out of time, out of space, out of being achievable. So what we are trying to achieve can’t be achieved because it is already all there is.
It’s kind of hard to accept – something I have a hard time accepting is that the spiritual search is no better, no higher, no more refined than a search for money, sex, power or whatever.
Absolutely. All desire is ultimately the search to come home. And what is strange about this paradox, this mystery, is that everything that is being done – all seeking, all reaching out, all personal endevour, all building of churches and empires, is being-ness. It is pure aliveness. It’s an amazingly strange paradox.
In some ancient Vedic text, or something like that, is there anything said about how that is, or about the why. I mean I know the ‘Bhagavad Gita’ says just, it’s an experiment …
No, there is no why and there is no experiment and no choice. The basis of traditional argument is that oneness chose to become two, and if oneness made a choice to become two, it could make a choice to become one again. It’s a fairy story based on the illusion of time, cause and effect.
Nothing is ever chosen. The whole dream of choice and motivation is that there is something in time that can move forward with intention from a place called twoness to a place called oneness. There never has been anything but being, and this is the eternal nothing and everything. It isn’t going anywhere and it’s never been anywhere. There is no anywhere. There is no time or space except in the appearance. There is nothing but this, and this is nothing happening.
And I see now that that question arises from the separate point of view so it is inherently unanswerable in a way. It is just an unanswerable question, but that is only because it is from the standpoint of separateness. Because in the glimpses of wholeness there is no question. There is no question at all. There is just an absence of any need to know anything because it just is. So then that question is just a loop that arises.
Yes, it is a loop and you are absolutely right, separation engenders the question ‘why’ and the searching. And as you say, when there is no one there is no loop and there won’t be any questions. There is no question and there are no answers. There is no knower and no known … and so there is no one to ask why.
But it is the most enticing question within that point of view.
Oh yes, it is, and being in separation loves asking why. And that fascination has generated religion. The question why in the seeker has generated Christianity, Buddhism, everything else that you could call a teaching of becoming that inevitably is based on the fundamental misconception that there is a separate individual with choice and volition to follow a path, to be motivated to move from one state to another, better state, to seek and find the answer that has no question.
I feel very happy to be here. I want to address the topic of being. Yesterday I learned a very important lesson. I was on my way home and I thought, “Oh I’m so much looking forward to being at home” and I realised that I was actually tearing myself in two because I was saying by implication that my state in travelling was actually less than this nirvana of simply this. And I said, “Hang on, Robert, it’s you here, stop mortgaging yourself for some future event, it’s actually okay to be on the Northern Line”.
Yes. But you didn’t do that, it just happened. And looking forward is also beingness.
It just happened?
The difficulty for the seeker is that they think they have to do something about their state or be in another state that frees them from the state they think they’re in.
But you’re a left brain torturer aren’t you?
Oh, am I? (laughing)
Of course you are.
Oh right, I’m a left brain torturer.(laughing)
So in Amsterdam I’m The Terminator. And here I’m the ‘left brain torturer’. (laughing)
You know you said there’s just awareness?
No, there’s just being. Awareness happens, or doesn’t happen, in being.
There’s just being. And you were talking about awareness as a sense.
Well my sense of awareness is that it’s a transient state, or it’s a place you can be in and out of. It’s still in the story.
Because I was just thinking that – when you were standing there – I was aware of your left side. I’m also aware that my shoulder’s a bit tense but nobody else in the room is aware of it.
So it’s as if we all have separate awareness.
Well yes, that seems to be so, and what I’m suggesting is that all these things you’ve just described are something that’s simply happening. It’s being tight shoulders or being Tony Parsons’ left side. It doesn’t need awareness for it to be, but the seeker thinks it does.
But what’s happening here is slightly different to what’s happening there.
What’s also being suggested is that there isn’t a “here” and “there”. It seems to the apparent entity that there is a location here and it seems as though there’s a “here” and a “there”. There isn’t a “here” and a “there” and those tight shoulders are simply being tight shoulders just as being this left side is being left side. It’s all only beingness.
But it’s all lots of little different bits of information.
Yes it certainly seems different, but it is oneness being everything and therefore appearing to be different. All of it is simply oneness arising. All of it is simply being.
What do we do with all the bits of information coming at us all the time?
There is no one that can do anything and there is nothing that needs to be done or known! There never has been anyone to do anything. The whole misconception that keeps us firmly in the sense of being separate is the idea that we can do anything or the idea that we need to do anything. Why do we need to do anything? There is just what’s happening. It is all immaculately complete and without need.
So what should we be aware of then?
Nothing.(laughing) Here you go again with the obligation of having to be aware, which is a transitory state. There just is what’s happening. The idea of being aware of something is a trap. Awareness needs another and is still in the story of dualism … there is no other.
But what’s happening changes; it changes from second to second. That’s not constant.
Yes. It certainly appears to change, but everything only seems to change or be different or apart from everything else. All of what happens is being apparently happening.
So where’s the constant?
The constant is being, and it is nowhere and everywhere. What’s happening is being arising and moving around. And beingness is all there is.
And where am I in relation to what’s happening?
You aren’t. There is no one. There is no relationship. All there is is being and the idea of a “me” arises in being.
Hmm-mm. (laughing) Well what’s the value of knowing that?
None at all. There’s absolutely nothing on offer here. There’s no value, nothing is on offer. The most amazing thing that could arise from this is nothing. If you go out of here with something, then you’re still someone with something. “I now have this. This is mine to do something with”. If there’s a real hearing of this it will be seen that there is nothing to get or know. There will just be apparently what’s happening.
There’s nowhere to go. There’s no goal. There’s no carrot. There’s no prize. All there is is this. But the difference between there just being what’s happening and the sense that it’s happening to you is immeasurable.
I can understand there being no person or no choice. What you seem to be saying is there’s no past where that person has been conditioned in anything. Is that correct? There is no past?
There appears to be a past and the conditioning that arises. There is only timeless being appearing as that.
So in that sense this didn’t happen. So when is the present?
There isn’t any.
There is no present either?
This is no thing happening. There’s no past, there’s no future, there’s no above, there’s no below, there’s no inner, there’s no outer. There is no present moment. Show me the present moment … where can it be?
Is that because those are concepts?
Yes. They’re only the dream or the belief and experience of a separate person arising in this time, goals, meaning, purpose, cause and effect, karma, past lives … all that dream story arises as this. The moment we become separate we hope for an answer so we attach to that hope the idea “Oh there must be a meaning. Why is this happening? Why aren’t I in paradise? Where is goodness? Why have I lost it? There must be a meaning for this life I have, so what I must do is find meaning.” So we go to people who teach us meaning. We go to enlightenment masters who tell us, “Yes there is a meaning. I’ll teach you how to find meaning through effort, sacrifice, dedication, devotion, change, personal refinement of the body-mind or whatever other teaching of becoming.
If there’s no meaning, what stops you from being a couch potato?
Nothing. If couch potatoing happens it happens. There’s nobody who can choose to be a couch potato or not be one. So a lot of people – teachers – say “Well Tony Parsons is teaching spiritual laziness”. Of course, they’re not really hearing what’s being said. They think that Tony Parsons is saying, “There’s nothing you can do so go and watch East Enders” but actually that isn’t the message.
The fundamental message is, there is no such thing as a separate entity with free will or choice and so nobody can choose to watch East Enders or not watch it. What is apparently done or not done is completely irrelevant to being.
So when you’re attached to your identity you try to bend things, to want things and do things.
You dream that you are doing those things and need to do them in order to get more things.
So that just disappears?
What disappears is the one who feels separate and needs not to. There’s only being. It can’t be conceived of. It can’t be described. It cannot even be known.
This story is so compelling. This is so compelling.
It’s compelling and fascinating to you. If you take ‘you’ out of the happening it’s just what’s happening. What’s compelling about what’s happening right now? I mean it’s just happening. What’s the compulsion?
It’s a thought story that feels very real.
But where is that story right now? What’s happening in that story?
What’s happening in that story?
Where’s this going right now? Is there a story? What’s happening there? What is sensed there right now in the body?
So that’s what there is. That is this, beingness. But the mind gets hold of the tiredness and says “Well, that is your tiredness and so what you need to do now is get to bed, or not work so hard, or use your energy in a better way”. And there you are back in a story trying to make things better for you.
Yes. And it’s because the tiredness is there.
No. It’s really because you are still there taking ownership of the tiredness. Then when you’re in bed and you’ve slept for 12 hours you’ll take ownership of feeling better. It’s always telling you “You’re going to feel better – or worse”. It’s the greatest and most powerful addiction there is … you.
What’s your sense of standing here right now? Is there any way of describing that?
Warmth. There’s being warmth, excitement, feet on the ground. Somebody’s moved just over there. Cars going by.
But they don’t add up to a kind of something?
No, they just are what’s apparently happening. The formless in form … beingness.
Okay so they’re not being joined. I think maybe we’re joining them.
Oh, the separate entity joins them and makes them into a story that can be known. And they also dream that what is happening is happening to them and it has meaning about getting somewhere.
Okay, what I experience – it’s absolutely true – is an incredible feeling of vulnerability as though the shell’s come off.
And I kind of get a bit like I’ve got goose bumps. I just feel really like …
Yes. It feels like something has been peeled off. Something like a prawn or something. If you peel off the casing there’s just no protection. And it feels uncomfortable. If I don’t go into a story it just feels uncomfortable physically.
The way you get back to being you and feeling safe is to go into the apparent story of you in time.
Yes, but do you just cope with that vulnerability and go with it?
No, there is no one to cope with anything, there is just nakedness.
It just all happens then?
It’s like being naked and open to everything and there’s a sense of risk about it. Everything is suddenly unknown and very alive … there are no filters.
You get used to it?
There is no one to get used to anything. There are no artificial filters that you previously provided as an individual. That’s why it’s got nothing to do with what people call detachment. It’s totally full-on aliveness … for no one.
~~ End ~~
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