In this world, we get taken in by the appearances and externals of this life, as if they are the ultimate reality or the most important. But physical reality is not the highest reality. There is something more than the body, the material world and self serving. And what That is is the very Thing that gave birth to the material world in the first place.
We’re not here to accumulate wealth and look good for others (or ourselves). We came here to remember who we are. Who we are at our core, our essential nature. The realisation of this essential Self is the only antidote to the sufferings and angst of this human life. All other happiness and pleasures are temporary.
I have moments or sometimes a day or two of residing in higher states of realization, and then it’s back to identification with life. It’s a toing and froing of being in this world, and when suddenly, one day, the deep state where there is only peace and wisdom arises again, and the gratitude pours out. Samadhi moments are the real nectar of this human life, which we all seek, knowingly or unknowingly, through all manner of means. Nothing else can come close to experienced samadhi. The Tao says you can’t know it but you can be it. And then if you are a devotional type, bhakti becomes a way to samadhi. The great blessing in this journey is that when suffering arises, it can be used again, and again and again, for further samadhi and union with the Absolute Reality.
A little about the journey that brought such experiences. In 2007 I underwent a challenging spiritual awakening, though this was a phrase that was not part of my vocabulary at the time.
The person who I had been up to that point started a radical inner change that has continued over the last 12+ years. At the initial awakening point, the dark night of the soul visited for the first time and the emotional dam that had been suppressed throughout childhood and young adult life, broke open. There was much focus on healing past stuff, from a childhood that had been coloured deeply by suffering and loneliness. This occurred alongside ego-dissolution where a palpable nothingness settled in my belly for some weeks. I no longer related to the person who had lived this life up to that point. Then another thing that happened was that God answered my heartfelt prayer one night and let me experience Him as I lay in my bed transfixed yet so alive and aware of His Presence. After this my eyes became very open to what was real versus what was temporary or unreal.
Along the way after that point, I was drawn to many teachers and awakened beings including Jiddu Krishnamurti, Ramana Maharshi, Nisargadatta Maharaj, Ivanovich Gurdjieff, Anandamayi Ma, Osho, vedic and other religious/spiritual works and other teachings. I currently follow bits and bobs about ascension into 5th dimension, channelled messages and other ‘new agey’ type info, which at the time of reading / watching serves a purpose. But when the ecstatic state comes, all of that is suddenly known to be merely of the ego-mind again, since in sat-chit-anand (union with God or Absolute Reality) there is no need for any such concepts, dimensions, progress, evolution or need for anything to be different. I guess I want a taste of that ecstacy more and more as it is so fleeting compared with the rest of life lived within the body-mind experience.
Along the way, some interesting things occurred, such as waking up vegetarian one fine day, and the experiences of death and direct communication with Higher Self that had whilst partaking in shamanic plant ceremonies. But all of these in the end, end up as simply experiences on the way to union with God. Sometimes I have clung to bhakti and the longing for the samadhi state and this too is of the egoic mind, yet at the same time bhakti is the fastest way to expand into union with source, so if there is something I would wish to cling to it would be bhakti.
I get the feeling the layers that hide the hidden Divine sunshine will keep on becoming apparent till I pass from this body, since permanent residing in full union with God is not possible as a human (it seems to me anyway), even for avatars, due to having to deal with the body and mind. At some point hungar becomes uncomfortable, inadvertent reactions take place, the ego is highly clever and never stops trying to beguile. As I write this, hoping or thinking that I’m writing from beyond ego, ego is nonetheless there, appearing almost automatically due to language, to using the hands to write, and due to using the mind to think of what to write. If we’re honest with ourselves ego comes along in ever subtle layers even as we think we’re awakened. So who knows, I do not really know…is such permanent ecstatic awakenness beyond the body-mind possible on a non-stop basis? Perhaps that’s the deal we made with our Greater Self – to sacrifice the permanent ecstacy whilst we come into human form to do some work and learn a few truth lessons, since we’ve been forgetting our Divine truth and must remember now.
I now work part-time in digital marketing, my real mission is spiritual work with clients and making a difference here in terms of spiritual awakening. I offer soul plan readings and am a qualified spiritual counsellor.
I like to post about spiritual topics and self realization, bhakti, other spiritual and growth topics, and sometimes natural health. For example you may be interested to get some EMF protection products. Other than that there are some other tid bits of info on here – maybe you’ll enjoy the spiritual jokes page as a respite from the serious nature that this life can often seem to have, or an ebook on the alkaline diet that I wrote some years back, and then there’s a page of free spiritual ebooks.
I’ve now reverted back to reenagagneja.com, so soulsavvi.com is no more. It’s more personal this way. There’s been a bit of toing and froing with domain names recently.
Thank you for reading this page. Feel free to be in touch.
Wishing you well. To your Self-realization.