Spiritual Awakening in this world
In this world, and especially at the time we are in right now globally, we get overtaken by appearances and externals, as if they are the ultimate reality. But physical reality is not a reality in its own right. There is something more than the body-mind and the material world, beyond space and time. And what That is, is the very ‘Thing’ that makes the space-time material world to appear in the first place.
We come into life as an apparent human being to remember who we are – who we are at our core, our essential, unwavering conscious nature. The realisation of this essential Self is the only real antidote to the suffering and anxieties of this human life. All other happiness and pleasures are temporary and will sooner or later fail to satisfy. We get involved with working, relationships, gaining material possessions, socialising, achieving something that we can be proud of, and all of that. It’s called being human. But as a human we have a greater calling and that is to realize the truth of who we are at our core, and this is not all that doing and achieving.
This of course is not something easy in the body-mind that we seem to inhabit. For myself, I have found that the Self-realization journey that I was set on after an unexpected spiritual awakening some 15 years ago deepens and deepens. The deepening is to do with becoming more and more embedded in the awareness of true nature as Consciousness, the Consciousness that is the Source of everything and is the fundamental substance of everything.
There is a shifting in and out of being aware of being aware, and a constant pulling away from identification with the phenomenal world. This journey has one by one taken away – as long as I am focussed on the inner work of non-atachment and non-doership – every ego-identification from that which is experienced through the senses including intellect and emotions.
The sufferings, identifications and dramas have served a purpose of realizing that one is not the doer. For the doer is the ego that desperately seeks to be the creator, yet it is not, and has never been. It is an ephemeral thing, a phantom. Time and time again, there has been a welcome transformation in a split second from suffering to bliss / neutrality / peace. The fruits of this spiritual labour are sweeter than anything I have found in the external life.
There has been a deep longing for the Divine which has often led to many moments of pure bhakti. Divine Consciousness (Truth, Absolute, God) is what we are in essence, yet so many have no idea about this at all, being totally consumed by the mind’s grasping for drama, solutions for suffering and being right. But there is a time for everything, and spiritual awakening or realization occurs very easily but only when one is willing to let go of the addictive mind. This includes losing reliance on emotionalism and the ego (personality / egoic mind).
Perhaps your time for awakening into the Consciousness that you are is now. Or perhaps you are already past that initial stage and know exactly what I’m speaking of. If so, wonderful. If not, then know that at this time there is a movement into higher awareness and there is an opportunity and invitation from Consciousness to set out on the path of returning to the home of one’s own true nature. The invitation arises as the inevitable counterpart of so much chaos in the world, just as the suffering I experienced in childhood provided the fuel for my eventual awakening. It’s an invitation that can break the apparent cycle of rebirth. (I say apparent, because each body-mind and each world is an appearance within Consiousness, it is not the real deal at the end of the day, even though it seems like that.)
This journey has indeed taken me to the depths of my own emotional suffering and fears and as a result a ‘spiritual transformation muscle’ has become strengthened. When spiritual awakening opened up I was able to start to release so much emotional burden that I had carried for 4 decades. For some time it was not easy but I learnt to flex the internal muscle and make emotions my friends. For without all the childhood suffering I experienced, I would not have awakened to my own real nature, I am sure of that, and as such our suffering is a blessing in disguise. As Jiddu Krishnamurti said ‘Pain itself destroys pain. Suffering itself frees one from suffering.’ How profound is that! And then Eckhart Tolle made famous the ‘pain body’ to which we are addicted to as human beings. The key lies within the emotional pain itself, and the key is put the light of your conscious awareness on the pain instead of resisting it, or justifying it.
‘My’ Spiritual Awakening
A little about my journey. In 2007 spiritual awakening was not a term I knew at all, despite many years of new age type interests. When it happened it started with an almost tangible feeling of nothingness in my belly. I was experiencing many difficult emotions at the time due to life’s circumstances as well as an accumulation of long-held internalised upset from a childhood suffering and loneliness. The emotional damn that I had been trying to keep under control for my whole life burst open. The tears seemed endless. I was no longer in control. I felt like a psychological, emotional and mental mess. I thought I was losing the plot and told noone what was going on – brave face and all that malarky. It was the first dark night of the soul.
Alongside the emotional damn freeflowing, the person who I had been up to that point was suddenly realized to be someone I could not relate to anymore, and I instinctively knew of the false nature of the life I had been trying so hard to live and make successful. This was ego-dissolution although, again, I did not know anything about that till I found these terms online when looking for an explanation for what was happening.
That was when my healing started in earnest – well I had no choice but to start to face so much pain I had stored up.
Then a little later, some months into this, another thing that happened was one night the Consciousness behind everything – God – answered my heartfelt prayer and I experienced It consciously as I lay in my bed transfixed from a dream that continued as I lay there, my thired eye pulsating. It was all the more mind-blowing to me as I had always felt mildly jealous of religious people who said they felt the presence of God, yet I just could not feel ‘Him’. Further it was even more mind-blowing because that night I had sat on my bed and exorted the universe or whoever was out there to show me the truth in my dream that night. I knew that that was what I wanted most in life beyond any riches and accolades or the perfect life – the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth (so help me God haha). And I was shown. The Presence that was there that night has never left. How can It? For It is the substance of everything and is always present. It cannot not be here and there and everywhere, because everything is within It. (Well it could leave in the sense that I get identified to an extent where the spiritual awakening gets ‘rolled back’ – in IT terms – but even at times when I have been through deep challenges, such as subsequent dark nights of the soul, the Presence that night changed me at the deepest level, I think the term is metanoesis, and there is no rolling back.)
It is our identification with the mind and emotions that stop us from experiencing the deep and obvious truth that is always here. I won’t go into the details of the dream, as this piece will become really long, but I’m happy to share with anyone that wants to know. I remember it vividly to this day. The next morning I was present, awake, in deep awe and saw with new eyes. The witnessing of ‘what is’ that started then has not left. It can waver but it never leaves completely.
Advaita Vedanta / Non-duality
That was the turning point of my life. Along the way after that point I was drawn to many teachers and awakened beings along the Advaita Vedanta / Oneness / Awakening path including Jiddu Krishnamurti, Ramana Maharshi, Nisargadatta Maharaj, Anandamayi Ma, Osho, Paramahansa Yogananda, and others. More and more I have come to be drawn to the vedic Advaita techings and currently my absolute favourite is the Ashtavakra Gita which is Advaita in such simple, but the profoundest terms. You can access a free version from the free spiritual ebooks page.
Along the way, some interesting things occurred, such as waking up vegetarian one day, actually it was the date 9/9/9 – numbers are mysterious. And an experience of death in life through partaking in shamanic plant ceremonies, where deep fear was faced. But all of these in the end, are simply experiences on the way to union with God. I particularly love bhakti through kirtan or dancing to sacred music, as that is one of the fastest ways to Self-transformation into union with the Divine. Here is one of my bhakti playlists.
I was in between careers for a while following the above experiences, during which time I trained in soul plan readings and spiritual counselling which I did full-time for a while. Now I am carrying out a job working on websites which I do enjoy and life has a certain level of peace that I am only grateful for. I used to think that if you were spiritual you should only be doing spiritual work to earn your keep. But as my awareness has deepened I now know that any situation in life can be used as a test for awakening, and the abiding of one’s being in Consciousness can occur in any circumstances. Also sometimes doing specific spiritual work can also feed the spiritual ego preventing one from really disssolving the ego as one believes one has made it – until the next drama hits 🙂 But at the same time, it is true that my real mission is to assist people on the deepest level of Consciousness and learning how to use emotional pain for actualising God-consciousness. My own soul plan reading speaks of a spiritual centre so maybe that will occur at some point.
I used to be a lot more active with this blog previously, now I post only occasionally. When I do blog it’s generally about Self-realization and other (hopefully) useful or fascinating holistic, spiritual and natural health topics, such as an ebook on the alkaline diet that I wrote some years back. I enjoy a good laugh so check out the spiritual jokes page. If I had to choose a favourite page on my own blog it would be the free spiritual ebooks page where you will find many PDfs and ebooks of a wide range of spiritual books and sacred texts. I sometimes answer questions on Quora.
Lastly, I am more than aware that we are in some very challenging times on this planet, and things may get more chaostic in the next few years. There is a groundswell of awakening to the world we thought we were living in and many are seeing how so much has been engineered. This is an external awakening – awakening to the external life, and seeing what it’s all about. We are, as is told in the vedic scriptures, in Kali Yuga, an age of strife and degradation.
But alongside this external awakening it is ever more important to raise one’s inner awareness, as the former is not enough if you are interested in the deepest truth of your own nature, and finding out the ‘secret’ to peace in life. But very few, still, are really interested in this deep inner path, as the dramas and distractions of life – whichever stance you may take vis-a-vis the world we live in – is too seductive and the ego doesn’t want to give all of that up. So yes, there is a price to pay – your emotionalism, dramas, addictions and pain. Not an easy path for sure, but what else are you going to use this life for? What is more worth the effort than to know who you yourself are?
You, and I are Pure Consciousness within which your apparent world arises. If you can train yourself to abide in That, and be open to spiritual awakening, then you will discover that indeed You are the One you have been waiting for. Unless you are already abiding there!
It is through ignorance of the Atman [Consciousness/Spirit] that the phenomenal universe appears to be real, and this illusion disappears with the realization of one’s true nature, just as the illusion of the snake appears through the ignorance of the object being the rope, and disappears after the recognition of the rope as the rope. – Ashtavakra Gita (27)
Thank you for reading. Feel free to be in touch if you have any questions.