Have you ever wondered about how boring you are?! Now, don’t take offence, because I can assure my own story is probably more boring than yours! LOL
I don’t mean this rudely, but seriously, until we see beyond the incredibly firm identity we have created for ourselves which we do not question (until we do) we really are walking cliches. We are predictable and very dull. Have you not noticed how similar people are? Have you heard people’s conversations and how predictable their reactions and words are? Have you noticed how people will repeat the same thing, sometimes over and over?
People’s me-stories / identities are essentially made of the same stuff – the attempt to be somebody, the attempt to be right, the attempt to look good, the attempt to get somewhere with each conversation, the attempt to compensate for something considered to be missing. No story is that unique, no matter who one may think one is.
It’s no wonder that a husband and wife soon stop talking like they did at first, and after many years may hardly talk at all, except about what they’re having for dinner or what’s on the news – they’re bored out of their brains with the same old, same old! Many partners behave as if they know the other very well, and yes, they do in the sense that they know each other’s stories only too well. And that’s what makes their communication with each other dull. Two people becoming a couple – of stories.
Only the story falling by the wayside can remove the predictable dullness that settles into all relationships eventually and open up real looking at and appreciating of one another.
The dullness leads us to want and need drama and excitement so much. It doesn’t matter if it’s good or bad – we just need the drama fix. Hence the news is so addictive. Or it can be any manner of drama, according to our particular story. The drama feeds the need for the story to get more exciting. We need to fill what we perceive as a void. That’s why people love the sound of their own voices so much because silence brings us face to face with what we don’t want to feel.
Try this: try ‘noise-fasting‘ one day when it is convenient for you – spend a day talking only minimally, only when you really must. You may hear that life truly has its own sound and it’s called silence 🙂 If emotions or stressy feelings arise in the silence, just let them be. They’re part of the silence too.
Life is not intrinsically boring. It is intrinsically alive and constantly new.
When we get off our high horses and come back down to earth, we may find that it’s pretty ok down here 🙂
Thanks for reading.
Love,
Reena
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Reena, I must say that I admire the leap of faith you took to writing your own blogs. They have been great lately and with this one you really nailed
a few good points!
It`s interesting observing people and how they communicate.. (or not communicate) with each other. Even if you don`t speak the same language that they do, tone of voice and body language speaks volumes. Then when it gets so bad that 2 people in a relationship are simply bored stiff and just milling around one another to the point that they are just “Two people becoming a couple-of stories“ (excuse the French keyboard) but personally at that point.. or even way sooner, I would say: what`s the point? Really?!
But many stay and the “drama feels the need for the story to get more exciting” I love that and how true it is!!
Also your response to Tom`s comment and the search to find the right religion, beliefs, spirituality, teacher or whatever. I like what you say:
“How can anyone be a spokesperson for an incredible Mystery.” & “Life is not intrinsically boring. It is intrinsically alive and constantly new.” Amen!
Good one Reena, thanks 🙂
Debbie