Aren’t they often so dull and boring – conversations? So often, aliveness is lacking.
One ego talking to another ego. Never really looking without a filter. Never speaking without fear of what others will think. Never moving your body freely so as to keep control. Never being free. Always wanting to look good, at all cost, and never to look weak. Lives of quiet desperation…When I first heard this phrase (lives of quiet desperation) it struck as so true.
Even as people like to think they are free and try to be in their conversations, they cannot be so. Not till they don’t have to try. When the trying is over, then you can be free.
It’s the same with laughter. Osho said you have to be free to be funny. And that is exactly why there is so little humour when there should be a lot more. People are generally serious because they are scared to just be – well, funny. But everyone loves to laugh…..
Sometimes I wonder at how much boredom people will put up with day after day in the name of ‘having a good time’. This can be seen from just singular conversations to whole relationships, where spontaneity and freedom of being have died a death in place of security, safety and looking good. But looking good never led to any peace and always leads to a never-stopping treadmill of putting ourselves out there, in others’ space constantly. Without realizing it, many people are forceful in their energy. If you see what I mean? They do not pass through life in a harmonious way, they make sure others know they are passing through!
People talk because they cannot tolerate not talking or being with all that may come up when one is not speaking. It’s an escape. People would rather talk rubbish than not at all. : )
Underneath all these such riveting conversations, there is almost an audible second conversation going on. This is the monkey mind chattering away inside. If you’re no longer attached with glue to your own ego and narcissism then you can sense the quiet desperation going on under the words. It’s a heavy sort of energy. The need to fill silences, the need to respond in set ways, the need to come up with some clever remark….to me, it’s just making things even more dull and predictable. Be done with looking good and you will find a freedom beyond that mask.
I’ll leave you with a profound quote of Lao Tzu: “Those who know do not speak. Those who speak do not know.”
So shhhh, no more talking!
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